He was born to be Del's best friend. He was her Flounder, her Stitch and her Baloo. He was the only human being Del trusted with her life.
Jarred knows her darkest secret, her biggest fear and her ugliest insecurity. Jarred Clover, age 13.
DR-DIARY
4th of April, 2012.
10.03 a.m.
I have never felt this dreadful. I look like an abominable. I had three cups of Valerian tea and it is still not going away. There is no way I am going out like this.
12.00 p.m.
My phone keeps on buzzing. 13 missed calls, 10 text messages and 42 whatsapp messages. I will not go out looking like this. I can't.
3.03 p.m.
The doorbell is ringing. It's Jarred. I don't want to see him. I can't.
3.06 p.m.
The doorbell is ringing. It's Calla. I don't want to see her. I can't.
6th of April, 2012.
10.00 p.m.
My head feels dizzy. My heart is pounding. I am about to burst into tears and Calla hates me.
"Serves me right for ignoring her and missing her birthday party," sobbed Del, before she passed out and fell on the floor.
Del felt horrible for Jarred and Calla. Especially Calla. Even though they have no idea what is going on with Del, she felt terrible. She decided to see them and spend the evening together. Del went straight to her cupboard to see seven bottles of potion. It was no surprise to Del as she was knocked out for almost a week. Del decided to bring the confusing concoction as she thought it would be funny to put a drop or two in Mr. Hanks' coffee and see him mixing up the ingredients to make his so-called-perfect-and-fluffy-bread. It has always been the trio's guilty pleasure; to mess with Mr. Hanks' bakery.
After hours and hours trying to get Calla to come out of her house, Del was at wits' end. Calla would not answer her calls and messages.
"Jarred. I need to see Jarred." said Del, trembling.
She rushed to Jarred's house and rang the bell. "Hi, Del? What are you doing here?"
Jarred was shocked to see his best friend, crying on his pavement.
Del was immensely thankful that Jarred was willing to talk to her. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" asked Jarred, as he place a glass of water on the coffee table.
She knew she had to tell him about her anxiety but not this time. Not today.
"It's Calla. She won't answer my calls. I have been waiting for her for hours. She's furious, I know it."
Jarred did not look surprised. He knew exactly why Calla did what she did. "Del, you missed your best friend's birthday party. You ignored both of us the whole week. Do you wanna tell me what's up?"
"No, I'm sorry."
She thought that if she let Jarred in on her biggest secret, he would run away. Little did she know, she bet on the wrong horse. Jarred would never leave his best friend. He would never.
The both of them spent their evening listening to Jason Mraz - You and I both. Classic.
Jarred was respectful of Del's decision. He did not force Del to set forth her feelings.
He was caring and compassionate.
Del has had a lump in her throat for more than a year. It is December, 2013 and there is still no news from Calla. Devastated is the understatement of the year. Fortunately, Jarred stuck by her through the entire ordeal.
He was benign and genuine.
23rd of December, 2013.
10.56 p.m.
I am aware of how curvy my body is, how big I am for my age, how huge I am compared to my classmates, and how my body is not socially accepted. We live in such a messed up world. Honestly. At times, I don't even care how I appear in public but god knows how rude and irresponsible people at school can be. They are not mindful of others' feelings. It bugs me so much to the extend that I would skip school just to avoid the awful people. I have dealt with body-shaming since I was in kindergarten and now I am in high school. Some things just don't change, huh? I know a lot of girls and even boys being called out for not having the so-called-perfect-body. It is disgusting. Take my word on this. Body-shaming has dropped many self-esteems. You have absolutely no idea how wretched the scarring you left in his or her heart. It stays and it never heals. In all seriousness, ladies and gents, body-shaming should stop. It hurts and it kills. You would be curling up if someone threw nasty words at you. So please, please, please stop calling people names and such. Pretty please with sprinkles and strawberries on top. I most certainly don't need anyone to pity or sympathize my situation. I simply need to live in a better and less judgemental world. You don't have to comfort me and tell me I am good enough. I am my own rocket fuel. I too don't need anyone else to know about my insecurities but Jarred has been my best friend since we were 10 years old. He needs to know. I am 14 and I finally told someone about my anxiety and body image issue. I would tell Calla but you know how things stack up. I miss her dearly.
As she was writing her latest entry in her diary, Del secretly wished for her diary to be found by someone who would publish her thoughts. She wants to be just like Anne Frank. She wants her thoughts to be known and to be taken action of. She wants body-shaming to stop. Immediately.
Two Thousand Fifteen.
Jarred, Calla and I.
Jarred and I.
Jarred, Calla and I.
Calla and I.
Calla and I.
It is 2015 and it's Calla and I.
Jarred left us. He is gone.
It hurts. It seriously hurts.
We are hurt. We are tremendously hurt.
Jarred. My best friend Jarred. Our best friend Jarred.
Jarred Clover, age 16.
His perpetual smile, I will never get over it.
His wise words, I will always hold on to them.
His horrible jokes, I will always remember them.
The Oliver Oken of the trio.
He left us. He is gone.
Life was hard for Del. At one point, her dearest friend Calla broke off all connections with her and the next, her best friend Jarred left her. Life was tough. For several years, she went through a horrific part in her life. She was constantly at her lowest. For countless years, she was surrounded by disturbing and negative vibes. It was horrendous. She was fragile and vulnerable.
One beautiful morning, she could hear the birds chirping, greeting her early in the morning, the mesmerizing blue sky above her; for the first time in forever, Del noticed the admirable world. She finally cracked the ugly wall that has been blinding her view.
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway 🎤
Del decided to call it quits. It's time to end this sinister and somber part of her life. It's time to move on and leave the negativity behind. It's time to find her true self. It's time to be Delphinium Rose.
3rd of March, 2017.
Calla and I went through J's instagram but luck was not on our side. It has been 2 years since his last post. We are upset but that would not stop us from pursuing our dream, even without him. J, if you are reading this, which I am sure you are not cse why would you read my diary? hahaha. J, we are currently volunteering at 'Girl Talk' . Girl talk is a national nonprofit organization that establishes positive weekly peer-to-peer mentoring programs for middle school girls, which are led by high school girls. Girl Talk Chapters help young teenage girls build self-esteem, develop leadership skills and recognize the value of community service. It is truly an honour to be able to join and be surrounded by such beautiful and optimistic young girls. I hope you are doing well, wherever you are in the world, J.
Before I forget, Calla and I would like to dedicate this part of 'Seasons In the Sun' to you, J. Thank you for the amazing 6 years of friendship. Hope to see you very soon man, we miss you.
🎤
Goodbye to you, my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees
Miley and Lilly of the trio.