Sure it's fun when you
dapat gelak, dapat senyum, dapat enjoy, dapat sayang, dapat benci.
tapi when you rasa semua tu, you actually feel nothing inside;
macam mana?
walking with your group of friends talking about nonsense everything,
physically you look happy but really you're just gloomy.
dead. mati. hati tak berfungsi.
It's that lacunae inside my heart that bugs me.
Those empty holes that I try to patch and mend,
for years and years,
I tried this, I tried that
tapi tak menjadi-jadi.
Takkan nak guna drywall kot?
People say I have that pink personality
but really-
what is that?
People say that I am friendly and approachable,
I have that vibe that is remarkable
but what they don't know is...
my soul is black macam kena colour dengan marker.
Jap........
no.
It's transparent. It's empty.
There isn't anything to be seen.
Kosong. Lopong.
Tak, aku tak bohong.
This is not a gimmick, i'm not trying to pull a trick.
Anxiety, depression, bipolar, eating disorder,
yes mental disorders are realistic.
Don't you get it?
It's nothing you feel when everything else is happening.
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See? Sama je,
dead. mati. hati tak berfungsi.