A mental fight

"Until you cross the bridge of your insecurities, you can't explore your possibilities." -Tim Fargo


An apprehended soul, gasping for limited air,
hemmed in by her fogged and addled thoughts,
wishing everything could be normal again.

Incessantly reaching for hands,
Ceaselessly crying for help.
Internally screaming, struggling,
and ending up choking.
Sophisticated, failing to breathe, yet again.

For always being a burden to the innocents,
unable to bridle the self-guilt that is swallowing her deep.
Blundered by the melancholic feeling,
Exhaustively annihilating, nothing to keep.

Acknowledging her fragility,
Incapable of escaping on her own.
Rains to rainbows,
months to years,
locked within her own destructing mind.

Driving to forge through the field of men,
Bending her cogitations towards the brighter, more positive future,
proceeding, even with the smoldering bleakness.
Alas, fallen between cracks.

A question that is constantly running in her head,
Left unanswered by many she asked.
The veracity she is yet to comprehend,
"Why me?"




DR.

DR-DIARY // volume-2

"Life is a lot like jazz, it's best when you improvise." -George Gershwin

DR-DIARY

Day one.

Thrilled, excited, and anxious.

A fresh start, a new beginning.

I am thrilled to be in a new environment, the environment I have always dreamed of. 

I am excited to seek more knowledge, knowledge that would make me a better person.

I am anxious to make new friends, friends I could maybe rely on.

To more adventures, 

I am as ready as I will ever be.

Day twenty-one.

Confused, lost and hopeless.

A nightmare, a disaster. Take me home, take me home.

The surrounding I am supposed to adapt with, is not how I pictured in my mind. 

Swimming in the sea of extraordinary people, self-esteem drowning, trying to float and survive. 

No vacant shoulders, unavailable friends.

Hopeless.

Lied to by my own expectations, lost. 

Mad.

Day forty-two.

Mindset, remembrance and strength.

A positive mindset to keep me going, struggling to walk through the absurd ordeals.

A colourful soul to keep my sanity, keeping me alive and awake.

Striving, I can do this. 

A space for my boggled mind to settle, a medium for my emotions to pour on.

Writing, an act where I find comfort in. 

Home. I find home in writing.

A home filled with tranquility and calmness, a setting I want to stay in forever.